Health Care Passes with a Laugh

The United States Senate passed a historic $871 billion health care reform bill today. A lot of people have problems with the bill. Liberals are saying it's too much of a compromise and doesn't go far enough. Conservatives are saying it's awful because it makes everyone more equal and that will upset the status quo (in so many words). That latter ideology is pretty ironic considering health care reform used to be something Republicans could get behind. Richard Nixon said, "Comprehensive health insurance is an idea whose time has come in America. There has long been a need to assure every American financial access to high quality health care. As medical costs go up, that need grows more pressing." But of course, this was back when Republicans were actual politicians representing the people and not religious circus freaks.

I say it's a good start. It's a step in the right direction. Is it enough? No. Is it the only chance we had to actually make a move on universal health care before next year's elections? Yes. Don't forget, we live in America and Americans are bitter folks who hold massive grudges. Frankly, not much has come out of the Obama administration this year (at least that's the perception) and it's pretty much a guarantee that we as a country will hold that against him the next time we're at the ballot box. Obama's not an idiot - he knows what he's doing. This bill was basically now or never.

Perhaps the funniest (well, probably funny for people 50+ who are into politics) thing to happen out of this whole drama is what happened at today's vote. Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid, voted "no" on his own bill! He quickly corrected himself and voted "aye", but not before getting a hearty laugh from the rest of the Senate. It's good to see all those old fogies in good spirits. It just goes to show you, laughter and happiness are two things that can truly cross party lines - two things that actually matter.

The Snowman Suicides

Not one to get wrapped up in the holiday spirit? Are you a certified grinch, a self-professed Scrooge?

Well here's a little something to un-cheer you up.

Over at the Huffington Post, they've collected a series of some pretty morbid snowman scenes.

I've posted my favorites. To check out the rest, go here.

Weekly WTF?: A Holiday Toast

A triple-header Weekly WTF?! Too much good stuff over at BoingBoing to limit myself.

1) A printer that's a toaster!
2) A Christmas tree that's made of Heineken bottles!
3) An irresponsible/clever/cool mother! (You decide)

Class Act: I Go For the Wings

From DetentionSlip.org:

Story: Paradise Valley High School teacher who took students to Hooters in Phoenix is put on leave

The teacher, who oddly enough is a woman, claims that Hooters was the only restaurant in the entire Phoenix area that could accommodate the group for lunch. With a population of almost 2 million people within city limits, you would think they would have at least attracted a McDonalds franchise to open up by now.

Here's the official article. Upon further reading, we find out that this teacher's students played at an event for Obama's inauguration.

Adam for the Day

I Most Certainly Approve: The Ukulele Kid

This is the cutest/funniest/craziest/silliest/absurdest/most adorable YouTube video I've ever seen... and I've seen A LOT of YouTube videos. Definitely watch it, then watch it again, the make other people watch it. Someone get this kid a record deal, but please don't make him learn how to actually speak.

Song of the Year: "In These Arms" by The Swell Season

Ladies and gentlemen, my favorite song of 2009: "In These Arms" by The Swell Season.

The Swell Season's latest album, "Strict Joy" is a life changer. A few years ago, I saw the movie "Once" starring these two - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova - and was moved beyond belief. I still count it as one of my top ten favorite films of all time. The songs from the "Once" soundtrack are the most played in my iTunes, with some songs having been played over 200 times. It's a little obsessive, really. But the songs never get old or ruined by too much play.

I don't like introducing songs I truly love that much because they really need no introduction. So, Happy Holidays - here's a gift for you.

Kool Aid and Jesus Juice

I never tire of Sarah Palin. She is a certified wacko with certified wacko supporters. Does she hurt American society by existing? Yes. But it's really entertaining to watch her and her supporters be nutjobs.

I love this video, where a reporter interviews Sarah Palin supporters at a book signing for her new "book", Going Rogue. After watching these interviews, it's pretty clear that the majority of Sarah Palin supporters are only supporting her because they've drunk the Kool-Aid (and the Jesus Juice, of course). They continuously spout out falsities that they've been conditioned to believe by watching too much Fox News.

Here's how I see it. It's not their fault that most of these people feel this way. They're essentially victims of fear and propaganda... and extreme Christianity. It's too easy to blame them. After the laughter subsided, I really just started to feel sorry for them.

Some of my favorite moments:

At 4:10:
Reporter: "Do you think Sarah will win if she throws her hat into the ring?"
Man: "Uh, well, he (Obama) is naturalizing a lot of the illegal aliens - he's in the process of doing it - they're saying she's not gonna have the votes when you throw those numbers in."
Reporter: "There won't be enough white votes on one side to get a candidate through?"
Man: "No way."

At 4:36:
SP Lookalike: "We do need to have profiling. The politically correctness has gotta get out now. I mean, we're Americans and she sticks up for the American people, not for other people. We're first, other people the last."

At 5:24:
Weird Lady: "Drill, baby, drill!" (Laughs)
Reporter: "Of course a lot of people are saying we don't have enough oil."
Weird Lady: "Well, look at it like this. Suppose that we do drill, and not just for oil but for gas, and for, for... well, while we're talking about that, some of these special interest groups like PETA and that, that try to endangered species with polar bears and other animals. We need to get the polar bears off the endangered list so we can drill there."

Also, check out the Miss South Carolina wannabe at 2:10.

Mark Ruffalo...

in "You Can Count on Me"


... sigh.

One of my top ten favorite movies. Netflix it now. Scratch that, buy it.

Pictures Fixed

Was recently alerted by a reader that the pictures in my "Homecoming Anthropology" post last week weren't visible. How horrible! The post meant nothing without the pictures! I've re-uploaded them to the original post, which you can find here: http://michaeldisciplined.blogspot.com/2009/11/homecoming-anthropology.html

Sarah, Plain and Silly

I have yet to confirm this, but I'm hoping with all of my heart it's true.

According to a favorite blog of mine, the following is a direct quote from Sarah Palin's new "book" Going Rogue:

“If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”

Please be true, please be true, please be true.

Weekly WTF?: Cat Wigs!!!

I know it hasn't been a week since my last "Weekly WTF?", but I couldn't resist. Wigs on cats. HILARIOUS!

Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs from Julie Jackson on Vimeo.

"I Vote Aye"

Sad, sad, sad. Gay marriage shut down in New York. So odd that in two of the most progressive states of our nation (California and New York), gay marriage has been turned away, banned.

While it totally sucks, there are still people who are making their voices heard in support of equality. People with influence and people outside of the gay community (and yes, that's important).

Check out Senator Diane Savino's argument in support of gay marriage. Funny, smart and right ("right" in a good way).

Helen's Turkey Tips

Before Thanksgiving, I posted Helen's (of Margaret and Helen) open letter to her family about her wishes for Thanksgiving. For those faithful readers who are dying to hear how it all went down, Helen hasn't failed us.

Check out her blog to read about why bacon and butter is better than nuts, what her "dumbass son-in-law" dared buy her, and how suggests you stuff your turkey next year.

A little teaser to pique your interest:

I am so sorry to hear that your sister-in-law’s turkey was not as tender and moist as mine. Did she try the brine this year like I suggested? And the butter and bacon in the dressing instead of nuts? Butter and bacon. Remember that. You can make almost anything taste better with one or the other. Honestly, Margaret, I have never understood her insistence on cornbread stuffing with nuts in it. That combination would suck the moisture out of a Kleenex.

Class Act: Picture Punishment

Oh, this story's a winner. 15-year-old Charlie Patton, a San Antonio high school student, was recently punished for making a "funny face" in her yearbook picture (see above). School officials have decided not to print her picture in the yearbook comparing her expression to gang signs.

The official statement is, "Since the yearbook represents the school and the students, the goal is to have every student presented in the best light... Students who make inappropriate faces or gestures or who do not follow the school dress code in their yearbook photos are asked to retake their photo free of charge."

But Patton, also a drama student (go figure), claims she was never asked to retake her picture.

There are 2 action steps that need to be taken here:

1) Somebody call the ACLU to help Charlie demand that her picture be published in the yearbook.
2) Somebody give Charlie my number so we can be best friends. I cannot count how many pictures there are of me with this exact face.

Only in Texas.

Weekly WTF?: Organ Headed Figurines

Is lunghead the new butthead? These figurines definitely deserve a WTF. They also deserve a high spot on my Christmas list.

I Most Certainly Approve: Hilarious, Passive Retaliation

I had to post this story from BoingBoing because it's so funny and it comes from my alma mater, Syracuse University!

A girl with nothing better do came to the Syracuse campus to protest homosexuality, calling it a sin and waving her big sign. (Why do they always use block letters? It's so boring. They should use their own writing for a personal touch.)

Well, some clever kid thought it'd be hilarious to give her a taste of her own medicine by criticizing her fashion sense in the same exact way.

Take a looksey:


Mission accomplished. Hilarious, passive retaliation? I most certainly approve.

Forgive Me For This: Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey covers Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is" and all I want to know is why I love it so much. I'm digging the music video too. I can't embed it from YouTube, but you can watch it here. She even features a gay couple in there, which is super.

Forgive me for this - it truly is a guilty pleasure. At least her album's name is stupid ("Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel") and she's still married to Nick Cannon. If not for these huge errors of judgment, I'm not sure I'd be able to forgive myself.

I Want To Know What Love Is - Mariah Carey

Song of the Mo: Ray of Light (cover)

Not the hugest fan of Snow Patrol, but I like this cover of Madonna's "Ray of Light" enough. One of the greatest things about the original is the energy, which this one obviously lacks. However, that lack of energy surprisingly works for me and sort of redefines the perspective. Instead of speeding through space, we feel like we're floating in it, watching everything speed past us.

Homecoming Anthropology

One of my favorite things about coming home after a few months away is the new discoveries I find around the house. It seems that this time, there are a multitude of things that have changed or been added in my absence.

First up, the fridge. Now for as long as I can remember, there's always been at least one picture of me up on the fridge. Over the years, the solo shots were consolidated to group shots of all 3 siblings, in order to make room for new family members. But, it seems that all 3 of us have been booted for good. Our fridge is now dominated by my nephew, Tyler and my cousins, Jake, Lexie and Max. And, of course, for good measure, there's plenty of religious hodge-podge on the other side (not pictured). Jesus would be proud.

Now, the next thing I noticed was our pantry. I was hungry after a long flight and drive down to the house, so I thought I might hold myself over until dinner with a bowl of cereal. Well, to my surprise, as soon as I opened the pantry door, I was bombarded with an absurd amount of soup cans filling up multiple levels of shelves. I tried to logically reason this. Maybe there's a holiday canned food drive coming. Maybe my mom is one of the millions buying into the 2012 phenomenon and is just preparing for the second coming of Y2K. Maybe we're just going to eat a lot of soup for Thanksgiving. Well, I asked her. She's just stocking up. She finds coupons and I suppose it's better to buy them in bulk at a cheap price then to buy them when you need them. There's also an entire drawer in the bathroom filled with tubes of toothpaste.

The third thing that caught my eye was my old Holy Communion picture. Now, this isn't new and it hasn't changed, but I haven't noticed it in a while and it really caught my eye this time. For some reason, I just find this picture incredibly funny. I look like I'm being groomed to be the next Fox News political pundit. I can see myself stomping the White House lawn demanding tax cuts for the rich and insisting on sending immigrants back to "where they came from." That smile is pretty unctuous and I have my suspicions about my younger, religious self (mind you, I'm not sure he ever existed, but if he did, you're looking at him in this picture). I'm weary of this shifty character displayed in this obnoxiously posed portrait. I'm sure immediately after the shoot, I may have spouted off some comments praising the Reagan administration and accusing my liberal peers around me of engaging in lefty propaganda. Those are some pretty spiffy bangs too.

Some other highlights include my old bedroom with an elliptical where the bed used to be and New Moon in my mom's inbox.

Good times. Good times indeed.

Weekly WTF?: Gimme Dat Christian Side Hug

Christians are silly. I love YouTube.

These kids are operating under the belief that Jesus never hugged anyone. No, I'm not making it up - they say it in their little ditty. There's so much irony in this song that it has to be contrived. For instance, throughout the song, they rap they're "Rough Riders" - like the condom? And what's with the gunshots? - the kids all fall dead at the end of the rap acting like they got shot. Was that a stipulation put in by the NRA? But, guess what? It's for real. This actually happened at a Christian youth conference.

Oh, and FYI:

Happy Thanksgiving?

Nothing like a downer on Thanksgiving day.

Thank you, Mr. Burroughs.

W. S. Burroughs - thanksgiving prayer -
by Maetthew

I'd like to add a few more to that list:

1) Thanks for upholding the double standard, most recently displayed with Adam Lambert's same-sex kiss on national television. What was okay for Madonna and Britney (non-homos) isn't okay for the real sinners.
2) Thanks to the cleverest of Americans who find the time to create images depicting Michelle Obama as a monkey.
3) Thank you Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh (you never disappoint!), Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilly for your relentlessness in pursuing "truth" in "journalism".
4) Thanks, Carrie Prejean for providing me with lots of material this year, but also for really sticking it to those who dare cross into the land of the "inappopriate".
5) Thanks to the dedicated TSA employees who threatened to report me to the cops when I refused to ruin my luggage by stuffing it in their metal, carry-on measurement contraption at the front of the airport security line.
6) And here's a SINCERE thanks to the fine reporting of Anne Curry, showcasing her talents recently whilst informing us about Paula Deen's unfortunate encounter with an 8 pound ham. Yes, puns are ALWAYS appropriate.



HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Thanksgiving Tips from Helen

Helen, over at Margaret and Helen, shares with us the list of dos and don'ts she's made for her family for Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm still laughing. You tell 'em, Helen!

1. Cloe. I am begging you honey. None of that Jello crap. No one eats it and the garbage stinks for a week after I throw it out. You and Jello are like Palin and McCain. How many times before you learn no one wants seconds much less firsts.
2. Jennifer. Your children are cute. We all can agree on that. Your husband’s video camera capturing every runny nose and bowel movement– not so much. Keep this up honey and you’ll have one posing for Playgirl before you know it. It’s just not natural to be that comfortable in front of a camera. Ten minutes of video when you first arrive and then the camera goes back into the camera bag.
3. Trudy. If your brother and sister want to come, they can be on time like everyone else. If they are late again this year, they can eat what the dogs don’t finish.
4. Rhonda. It’s my oven and once again I’ll be using it right up until mealtime. If you can’t bring something that doesn’t require heating, then don’t bring anything at all.
5. Mary. Your kid’s dirty shoes and my clean sofa have never met. Let’s keep it that way.
6. If you are a meat-eater, try a vegetable for your health. If you are a vegetarian, try the stuffing for the bacon. Either way, you’ll be cured of what ails you.
7. If I see one grandchild doing that texting stuff, there will be no pie for dessert. If I see one parent checking email… scratch that – new rule. Leave your cell phone in your car. They used to be called mobile phones for a reason. Now-a-days the only thing mobile about your phone is your thumbs. Trust me. Skinny thumbs and a fat ass are not a good look.
8. Jonathan. How a Republican ended up in this family is beyond me, but we love you all the same. That said, Reagan is dead darling. Get over it.
9. I cooked the meal. Your grandfather paid for it. You can clean the kitchen and we’ll call it even.
10. Honestly, if you insist on bringing anything, bring some butter. I go through about 20 sticks to get this meal on the table and I might as well start stocking up for Christmas now.
11. Marshall. I am sure you believe that your children sing beautifully. Don’t put me in a situation where I have to make you question your beliefs.
12. Grandpa Harold says if the Longhorns win, the bar is open. If they lose, the party is BYOB.

Memory and Life

It's hard to believe that it's been almost 9 months since my father passed away. When I think back to 9 months ago, it's hard to really remember everything that was going on. I had just resigned from the Peace Corps, was taking care of my father, and in the end, was spending all day in the hospital with my step-mom and sister, amongst a cast of rotating family members and friends of my father's.

While it is so difficult to remember, I have an acute awareness to every detail of what was going on. I know this seems to contradict the whole "not remembering" thing, but it's almost as if I was outside of myself. When I think back to the memories of this time, I don't see things from my own eyes; rather, I see everything from a bird's eye view. I see myself in pictures and memories like I'm watching a film. I see snapshots, frozen in time, sometimes blurry like paintings, but completely realistic.

There are things I will always associate with this time: cell phone tetris (which I played compulsively in order to avoid all the drama that was happening when there were more than 3 people in the hospital room), the crummy parking garage at the hospital, eating cereal in the cafeteria, candied pineapple from Whole Foods, and a bunch of other stuff that would make absolutely no sense to anyone else.

I've always been fascinated with memory - mainly because I have a notoriously bad one. This year has been one of the most fascinating years of my life in term of memory retention. Everything is pretty vivid, whereas before everything was sort of murky and unimportant. It's been a pretty remarkable year. I started it as a Peace Corps volunteer in Moldova and 2 months later was at my father's funeral. I moved to Seattle and started life over again and later found myself cutting through the rugged Norwegian landscape aboard a train. And I started a new job.

If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that life is fleeting. There's no time to get lost in the complications of it. There's no time to waste in front of the TV for hours at a time. There's no time to make excuses for not going on your dream vacation. There's no time for staying in a dead end job that makes you miserable. I live by the day and I determine my future based on happiness and fulfillment. People say "life is short" all the time. Is it? It's only short if you live it this way. If I died tomorrow, I'm not so sure my life would have been cut "short". I've done a lot in my almost 27 years of life. The ratio of things that I'm proud of greatly outweighs things I regret or wish I could change. I've lived my life, and will continue to live my life, with purpose and urgency. It may seem naive, but I'm happy and satisfied.

In the vein of all of this talk of memory, I recently came upon these pictures of me, my dad and my sister that were saved on my external hard drive. Now these are times I absolutely cannot recall for the life of me - but, they're still important to me and it's nice to look at pictures in order to help fill in the blank periods of time for which I have absolutely no recollection.

Weekly WTF?: Terrorism for the Holidays

"Snow globes are not permitted to be carried through security checkpoints," said Transportation Security Administration spokesman Dwayne Baird.

Snow globe? Snow bomb, more like. Obviously.

The reason is that the globes contain liquids, and TSA rules say that only liquids, gels or aerosols in containers of three ounces or less are allowed through security in carry-on bags. Could we change our minds if we called them "freedom globes" instead?

If you've seen "Unfaithful" you know just how dangerous a snow globe can really be. The snow globe's liquid is the last thing we should be worried about.

I Most Certainly Approve: Paris, Je T'aime

A few years ago, I saw the film "Paris, Je T'aime" - a collection of short films put together into one movie. They've recently created a "New York, I Love You" in the same vein, but I've heard that it's not nearly as good.

There was one segment of this film that stuck out to me when I first saw it. The segment is called "14th Arrondisement" and it's directed by Alexander Payne ("Election", "Sideways"). It revolves around a middle-aged white, American woman traveling Paris for the first time, all by herself. It's humorous and a bit silly, but it packs an emotional punch that hits you out of nowhere. At first you start to laugh along with the absurdity of this woman's experiences, but by the end you want to cry.

I've often felt the way this woman feels when I travel abroad on my own. I love it for the independence and freedom to do what I want, when I want; however, there are definitely times when I see something or do something that makes me wish I was there with someone else. Being with another person to share in the overwhelming beauty of a landscape or the incredible discovery of a new food is something that cannot be matched.



I also love this clip because the woman's French is so awful that I don't even have to read the subtitles. I can literally understand every word she is saying in French and it makes me happy to know that I haven't lost it all.

This segment ("Le Marais" by Gus Van Sant) rivals the other for my favorite of the compilation. All in all, a movie definitely worthy of renting if you haven't seen it already. I most certainly approve.

Eat Your Vegetables!

I used to be a vegetarian back in high school/college for a few years. Then I started eating all meat again. I've recently given up most meat (except chicken and turkey - mainly for health reasons) and I am constantly enticed by becoming a full blown vegetarian again. My main issue, though is that I'm allergic to so much stuff that vegetarians constantly use in their diets. I have an allergy to legumes, which includes, but is not limited to: peanuts, soy, peas, lima beans, chickpeas, garbanzo beans, kidney beans, etc., etc., etc.

I'm sure there's a way, though. And after seeing this awesome ad from the International Vegetarian Union, I'm totally convinced.


















































So cool. The idea of having all this natural stuff in your body, with no chemicals or weird growth hormones is so refreshing. Totally digging it.

Song of the Mo: Bad Romance

I couldn't resist. This video is badass and I have no shame in admitting that I like Lady Gaga. She's absolutely nuts (which I've noted many times here), but she's innovative and I find her spectacular.

The video for her new single, "Bad Romance" is definitely something that needs to be seen. It's weird (expected) and kind of sad (unexpected?).

Florida? Or Just Happy to See Me?

Oh man, this one is a winner for sure. I really never tire hearing about how teachers make the dumbest mistakes in front of students. I was a teacher myself for a few years and while inappropriate comments related to teaching material would often come up in my mind, I knew better than to share those silly revelations with my 6th graders. The folks over at DetentionSlip never cease to entertain with their reporting on such stories.

A Kansas City 8th grade science teacher got fired for comparing the shape of Florida to an erect penis. If you read the article, it's interesting because he never even says the words "erect" or "penis". Apparently, he draws a map of the US, Florida is out of proportion, a student calls him out on it and he says, "Florida got excited." Inappropriate? Probably. Does the guy deserve to be fired? Hell no. Especially when you know every 8th grade boy in that class was thinking the exact same thing before he even pointed it out. If he called Florida a penis to a class of 1st graders, we might have a bigger problem.

Turns out his students are pissed. Several students cut class to protest and many have been picketing on street corners demanding that he be allowed back. To have a bunch of 8th graders go out on a limb like that for a teacher? This guy must be good. Let him back in. The parents agree. A ton of them showed up to the termination hearing to urge the board to keep him.

But don't get your hopes up. With every glimmer of hope, there's a bitter bureaucrat waiting to bring the buzzkill. From the article:

"Leigh Anne Neal, a district spokeswoman, said the student demonstrators will be marked as absent without an excuse. School officials notified the students and the parents of the students who demonstrated outside the school rather than attend class that they will not receive credit for missed work."

Ugh! These kinds of administrators are the worrrrrrrrrrst. Standing behind a decision just to stand behind it. If you ask me, these are the people we should be keeping our kids away from. As far as I'm concerned, Leigh Anne Neal can go suck a Florida.

Legally Blonde/Legally Bound?

Just when I (almost) starting standing up for her a little bit, Carrie Prejean, the idiotic former Miss California who suddenly, out of nowhere became chief conductor of the cuckoo train, displayed this winner of an interview with Larry King. She has the audacity to call Larry King "inappropriate" and then just sits there like a MORON! See for yourself:

Her book is titled, Still Standing - I don't get it. Where's the pageant pun? Also, how is this title still available? I feel like this is a pre-packaged, go-to title for autobiographies - I guess I just answered my own question. I guess the more important question here is, how did she write a book and who cares enough about her to read it? I know millions are going to buy it, just like they did Sarah Palin's Nazi hockey mom manifesto, but I still can't help being shocked by stupid shit like this.

Carrie Prejean - Conservative, Nut-case Robot status = confirmed.

Chug, Chug, Chug ... Choo! Choo!

Holy cow. This is a true example of a "close call". A completely wasted woman in Boston, falls onto the tracks of the subway. Thank goodness for frantic bystanders.

Song of the Mo: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

Another one that just came up on my shuffle playlist. When I first heard this song, I played it on repeat like a thousand times. So, eventually I got sick of it. It's been a couple of years since I heard it, so it's nice to enjoy it again.

Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt.1 - The Flaming Lips

Absurdity, via Tweet. Now Available!

I have recently determined that my life is, in fact, totally interesting and worthy of a public following. Wow, who's the hypocrite now? (see last post)

Follow me on Twitter. I'm learning it for work so figured I'd start my own too. http://twitter.com/jesuismike

Weekly WTF?: Miss-representing California

I can't believe people hold events like this. I actually think Miss California was probably more moderate before the whole "gay marriage" hoopla. Now the right-wing has just sucked her in and she's totally gone whacko. It really is too bad. I mean, a year ago I was with everyone else who was vilifying her, but now I just sort of feel bad for the girl. Gay rights controversy + revelation of fake boobies + alleged sex tape = a ruined life.

Careful what you wish for.

So, did anyone go to this event last night? Let me know how it went. I'm dying to know. Those GWB and Bill Clinton lookalikes look pretty spot on. Lovin' the shades.

I Most Certainly Approve

Oh. My. God.

This is the best thing to ever come out of that silly show, "Glee".

Two things:

1) Why am I almost 27 years old and still can't grow a beard?

2) Where do I find this man so I can marry him? No, for real.

I most certainly approve.

The Pitcher of Water Set Me Off

I just laughed for 10 minutes straight after seeing this. It's so stupid, but it cracked my shit up. Could it be that I didn't eat dinner last night and drank a little too much and still feel like I'm wasted? Perhaps.

Class Act: My Baby's Father's Facebook Account

Shaka Cobb (for real) and Ebony Smith, two teachers in Atlanta, recently got in a heated, violent dispute in front of students regarding quite the interesting love triangle.

You see, Shaka was like, "Bitch, that's my baby daddy. Step off!" And then Ebony was like, "Hell no, he don't love you the way loves me." At which point an overly eager student chimed in, "I believe it's, 'he doesn't love you', Ms. Smith." Then, Shaka was like, "That's right, Hermione, ten points to Gryffindor!" And Shaka was like, "Why you gotta do me like that, Granger?"

Ok, at least that's how it's all happening in my head.

For more on this story, go directly to the news source: Teachers fight over man in front of students.

Thanks to Detention Slip for this winner.

Weekly WTF?: How to dress your effeminate son for Halloween

Happy Halloween, from The Onion.

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

The Return of Helen

I was starting to get a bit worried about Helen over at Margaret and Helen. It had been over a month since her last post - not only was I missing her witty insight and acerbic tongue, I was starting to think something serious had happened.

But - not to worry - Helen has returned, and in full force.

Some highlights from her latest post:

"Those TV people just get diarrhea of the mouth and then the shit gets everywhere."

"John and Kate minus eight equals one jackass and the woman who deserves him."

"Sarah Palin having an opinion about Levi Johnson 'selling his body' is like Roman Polanski having an opinion about Woody Allen’s choice in girlfriends. Pot meet Kettle."

And since it is Halloween, here's my favorite news story of the day. It's like "Melrose Place" meets "Mike Myers" ... and wins! Robber in skeleton mask beaten by partygoers - ah, only in Phoenix.

OMG! Halloween Approaches

'Nuff said.

Song of the Mo: "I Wanna Be in the Cavalry"

Let me first start off by admitting that, yes, technically this is country music. And, yes, the video is super lame.

I first heard of the Corb Lund Band (from Canada - is it still considered "country" now?) a couple of years ago on a rainy day in Seattle (surprise!). I was sitting in my car having just parked in front of Jamba Juice, when this song, "I Wanna Be in the Cavalry" popped up on NPR. Now, if you don't already know this, if a song is on NPR, it obviously has instant credibility and is totally legit in terms of quality. Duh.

I loved the background banjo strums, the song's theme, the confident, yet subtle vocals. It was in direct contrast to the rain dropping on my windshield. It took me back to the civil war and AP US History. I dug it.

Well, today it popped up on my iPod in a shuffling playlist and it took me right back to the first time I heard it. I have a really bad memory to begin with, so when a song can do this, it tells me it really is a good one.

They have some other great songs too. If you like this, check out "Good Copenhagen" and "Time to Switch to Whiskey".

You'll Eat it Up or I'll Eat You Up

If you haven't seen "Where the Wild Things Are" yet, you're missing out.

Wednesday night, I went out with a friend to the IMAX at the Pacific Science Center in Seattle. There on the huge screen, in front of about a hundred (on a Wednesday!) popcorn-eating, chair-reclining, innovation-craving Seattleites, the wild rumpus started. To say that Spike Jonze's interpretation of "Where the Wild Things Are" is unique, clever and envelope-pushing would be a massive understatement.

Now, I'm no movie critic - I don't claim to be, nor do I want to be - but I bet there are probably a lot of people out there who have a problem with this movie because it's so sad and doesn't really have the happiest of endings. This is a feel-good movie though. It's feel-good in the sense that throughout the movie, I laughed out loud, gave in to the characters emotions and really let go of reality. It felt good to feel like my money was well spent.

The voicing of the characters was incredible in my opinion. The characters talked over each other, genuinely thought out loud and reacted realistically as any human would to physical and emotional punches. I've never seen anything like it. The simplicity too - Max says, "What's that?" to which Carol, a wild thing responds, "Oh, it's that dog. Don't feed it. He'll follow you around." It's totally random, but it's life.




It all seemed so ... real. I know, I know, I must sound like an idiot when I say watching a bunch of fictional, wild beasts making a scene seemed real, but honestly I felt a connection and I think a lot is owed to the acting ensemble who voiced these characters, but also to Spike Jonze for directing them so casually in a way that really allowed for a ton of creative freedom. I give an A+ stand out to Lauren Ambrose who casually voices the seemingly indifferent "KW" - I was drawn in with every word. Catherine O'Hara gets an A for being amazing as well, as usual.

The movie has "big people" themes that are tackled through the eyes of a pre-teen already rife with anguish and despair given his home situation. They're issues that we all went through as children and they're things we all deal with in life still - depression, feelings of unworthiness, handling hyperactive energy and general feelings of inferiority/superiority.

I really do recommend this movie. I don't want to sit here and try to convince you with my words - this isn't a movie that can be written about in words. It's too difficult to describe. Just enter the theater with an open mind and a child's sense of wonder. Don't listen to people saying it's not for kids, either - they're just typical, overprotective American mothers who think when their child gets genuinely scared, it's going to scar them for life. Everybody relax. I think the best thing to do for children is to expose them to their own feelings through a venue such as this. Why hide it - bring it all out on the table. Validate those feelings. Adults don't give children enough credit for what they feel. This movie reminded me how heartfelt the emotions of a child can be and how important and relevant they are to life and the world.

Go.

Oh, and I almost forgot - the soundtrack is incredible. Karen O of the "Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs" must live in the head of a 10 year old. Genius.

Weekly WTF?: It Does a Body Good

I am introducing a new segment to my blog. It's called the "Weekly WTF?" I will scour the internet for stupid stuff that doesn't make sense, but is hi-lar-i-ous.

I encourage you to help me. If you come upon a "WTF?" moment, let me know and I'll put it up! Now for the first "Weekly WTF?" I came upon this today while keeping an eye out over at BoingBoing.







Umm... don't you mean, milk?











Ok, I couldn't resist. Here's another, also from BoingBoing. Nice work, China!

Is It Christmas Yet?

Last night, it smelled like Christmas.

I lay in bed, reading. I cracked open the window to let in some of the chill. I quickly slipped under the covers and tucked myself in (which consists of me repeatedly and violently chopping my arms under my calves and thighs, pushing my duvet under myself as much as I possibly can until I can't move). I propped up my pillows (fluff, fluff, stack).

I inhaled. The scent from an oakey burn emitting from a fireplace in the distance slowly crept through the window screen and straight into my awaiting nostrils. I could almost see the smell. It was cold, but it was comfortable. It was the best sleep I've had in a while.

Well, oh holy night, now I'm listening to Christmas music. You may claim it's too early. I disagree. October kicks off the holiday season as far as I'm concerned, and it's October. Target is carrying Christmas lights and K-Mart is advertising layaway. Bring on the bells!

I Most Certainly Approve: MyTeacherMyHero.com

So this post is sort of work related. The organization I work for right now has a partnership with MyTeacherMyHero.com. It's a great website where anyone from college students to rap stars to CEOs post personal videos describing a teacher that changed their lives.

Soon, the staff at my organization will be posting our own videos to help support our partnership with them.

Yes it's work related, but I think it's totally cool regardless. Some people have some awesome things to say and it's pretty nifty to get insight into how some big time business people were influenced by teachers.

I was a teacher and I support teachers... and I most certainly approve. Check it out.

Song of the Mo

Well, I finally saw the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" - I was out of the country when it came out, or at least I think I was. It was funny enough (I think "I Love You, Man" was funnier) and it just confirmed my intense adoration of Paul Rudd's quirky/lame/purposely desperate comedy.

Well, imagine my surprise when I found this gem at the ending credits. Daniel Ho, under the pseudonym Coconutz, basically sings a cover of Sinead O'Connor's cover of Prince's "Nothing Compares 2 U", which is an incredible song already. I don't understand a word of it as it's all in Hawaiian, but I'm assuming it's just a translation of the English version.

Anyhow, thought I'd share. Definitely digging it.

Nothing Compares 2 U - The Coconutz

A Lofty Speech, A Lofty Promise, and A Lofty Ultimatum

I've certainly given Barack Obama a hard time on my blog when it comes to his slow progress with gay rights, especially the discriminatory, completely obsolete "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military policy.

I will admit, it was refreshing to hear his speech to the Human Rights Campaign over the weekend. He basically confessed to doing an inadequate job (without saying those words exactly) and made a pretty clear promise that he would end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (by actually saying those words exactly). As far as I'm concerned, it truly is only a matter of time now - after a statement like that, if nothing moves on this policy he will lose support from gay groups and individuals across the nation with no chance of ever getting it back.

Schwarzenegger also signed a bill declaring each May 22 as Harvey Milk Day in California, the equality march drew thousands of people to DC, and I've been seeing a lot of positive movement on Referendum 71 up here in Seattle (the referendum that would basically make the "Everything, But Marriage" policy totally valid).

These things, they take time. But it's important to realize that they also take courage, solidarity and unwavering relentlessness. Indifference is inaction and inaction is insane. If you read my blog, are my friend or know me through some other arena, please understand that I mean this even at the risk of losing your readership or friendship - if you don't believe that I have the right to legitimate marriage, equal rights and equal recognition in the eyes of the law, then you don't believe in me.

There's no compromise on equality and no exceptions to discrimination. You can't love black people, except for that whole sharing water fountains thing. You can't love Jews, except for that whole don't believe in Jesus thing. And you can't love gays and lesbians, except for that whole marriage thing. If you don't let me show my love the same way you can, then you don't really love me. No exceptions.

It Isn't Equal if It's Sometimes

Shoot (For) the Moon!!!

I'm sorry, but who approved $79 million of taxpayer money to bomb the moon? Rachel Maddow has more information below:



Dear population of Earth,

WHO EFFING CARES IF THERE'S WATER ON THE MOON!!!!????!?!?

Love,
Michael

Picture Grab Bag: Sweden