Ode to the Fruit Cup

I like fruit cups. They are a wonderful way of getting in your daily dose of fruity vitamins and goodness. They are compact, easy to use and most importantly, rather tasty! They are very convenient as well. You don't need to worry about cutting your own fruit and making a mess because your pineapples, pears, and peaches are already sliced for you! Plus, when you're finished with the fruit, you can tilt back the cup and delight in a refreshing shot of natural sweetness.

I like fruit cups. I do not, however, like when I eat a fruit cup close to my computer as I did today. I do not like that you can only eat fruit cups with plastic forks because the second you use a regular fork and leave it alone to do something else that requires two hands, the weight of the fork will tilt the fruit cup towards your computer and all that "natural sweetness" starts dripping into your laptop keyboard. No thank you, my computer isn't hungry. It's an electronic and electronics don't eat human food, silly - they only like to eat up memory and most of my time.

I like fruit cups. Even when they result in me having to tilt my computer upside down for half an hour to dry it out. After all, my expensive and personally valuable computer can't hold a candle to the brief ecstasy that derives from a $0.49 fruit cup. So here's to you, fruit cup! Thanks for all the nutrition, tastiness, and misery you have brought to my life.