Telephone, Redialed

Listen. I love Lady Gaga. I've said it here before. I think she's innovative and risky. In fact, I've got tickets to see her in Seattle in August. Is she overplayed? Probably. Does she dress like a maniacal looney? Definitely.

Regardless of how you feel about her, this video is a must watch. A great "Telephone" parody, this video really addresses a lot of issues people have with Lady Gaga and kind of gets them right. I still like her, but I'm way on board with the message of this video. I've seen the real "Telephone" video a few times now, and I'm still scratching my head.

Song of the Mo: "This Too Shall Pass" by Ok Go

This music video makes me so happy. From those infamous treadmill guys.

Embedding has been disabled by request (stupid music labels). Click here to watch the awesome video on YouTube.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Lori Watt!

TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekly WTF?: Lindsay Lohan Suing E-Trade

Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for "pain and suffering." Why?

Well, during E-Trade's Superbowl commercial, a baby named "Lindsay" is referenced as being a "milkaholic." Is it eTrade's fault that whenever we hear the words "Lindsay" and "holic", we think of Lindsay Lohan? No. That's her own damn fault. Also, who does she think she is - Cher? Madonna? Lindsay is one of the most popular girl's names in America. You can't claim it like that, girlfriend. Get over yourself and put the bottle down.

And because I like E-Trade today (since my stocks are up) I am totally on their side. Also, the commercial is HILARIOUS! See for yourself.

TED Talks: Responsible Eating

I LOVE TED Talks!

I've been trying to watch 2 to 3 TED videos each week. It's like free continuing education and your professors happen to be the experts in their fields!

My latest viewing theme is related to food. Mark Bittman and Jamie Oliver (this year's TED winner) both give dynamic speeches about the importance of healthy eating and consequences of unhealthy (or, "convenient") eating.

We kill 10 billion animals a year. To put that in perspective, there are only about 6 billion people on Earth. These talks totally confirm my belief in practicing "flexitarianism" - eating meat in true moderation (I only eat chicken and turkey).

Song of the Mo: "Monday Morning" by Melanie Fiona

Melanie Fiona is an emerging R&B artist who released her first album, "The Bridge," last year. I am not really a huge R&B person and - in the spirit of total transparency - I'm actually not a huge fan of this entire album. She's also a Kanye West protege, which is kind of a bummer since he's a major douche squirt . That said, this song is equal parts catchy, original and makes-you-all-smiley. Not to mention a total throwback. Love it.

Currently touring with Alicia Keys, Melanie Fiona was nominated for a Grammy this past year for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance (not for this song, but for the snoozefest, "It Kills Me") and "Monday Morning" reached #1 on the Swiss charts (I LOVE Switzerland!). Hailing from Canada and already a pretty big deal in half of Europe, she's bound to have a bright career ahead of her.

Thanks, Easy Street, for the introduction. Enjoy.

Religion is Funny

Watch Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, explain exactly why same sex marriage is a sin.

On Lot's wife: "...so a Bible based marriage can sometimes be between one man... and a kitchen condiment!"

Just goes to show, you should really only take what the Bible says with... a grain of salt!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Yes, I know it's March. I extend this wish now because this is about the time every year when the new year starts to settle in. Writing the date with 2010 has become a bit more routine, the holiday season is over and (if you live in Seattle, at least) spring is rapidly approaching. I believe that it is in March, not January, when things really start to come together to feel "new."

It is also in March when reality starts to set in. A new year is typically accompanied by positive resolutions, temporary motivation and an abnormal case of the "happies" possessed by everyone from the grocery clerk to the businessman. It's like we back flip from December and start acting like the children of the corn, acting so totally out of character that those of us not subscribing to new year customs are thoroughly creeped out. By March, however, our eyes start to lose that awkward glaze and we officially stop drinking the Kool-Aid. People start to realize that their lives are just as miserable as they were the previous year. Newbie gym bunnies suddenly understand that in order to lose the weight you can't just join the gym, you actually have to go. Young professionals with new outlooks on their jobs finally cave in and scratch those genius plans for "restructuring the organization." Frustrated commuters again realize that their third finger is for more than just nose-picking and resume sticking it up in front of their rear view mirrors.

But it doesn't have to be this way, does it? For the past few years, I've tried to avoid the crowds and the inevitable let down that is the New Year. I think we've got it all screwed up. The majority of the world celebrates in January, which is way too early. I mean, you don't really start to celebrate a business transaction until you start seeing results, right? January is just too overwhelming anyway. A new year, and 365 more days before another one... come on now, that's stressful!

In January, I never make resolutions. I lose all motivation (as displayed by my lack of blog posts) and crankiness tends to dominate most of my conversations with people I forget are supposed to be my friends. I think the only serious resolution we should make in January is to resolve to turn another year older at some point in the new year. It's a guarantee. Well, unless you die of course - but then none of this would apply to you anyway. It's a win-win!

The Chinese are close - they celebrate in February. February gives a bit more leeway with resolutions and we've got at least a month's wort of experience to get a better idea of where the year is headed. But Valentine's Day sort of screws everything up there because half of the country is miserably not in love.

Which brings us to March. March is spring, spring is rebirth and rebirth is a new beginning. I mean, can you come up with a better argument for celebrating a new year during this time? You've got to give the new year sometime to introduce itself to you. By March, we've had two whole months to figure out how we're going to approach the new year, because the new year has already given us some information to use to help us make new decisions.

It may be unconventional, but it makes sense - and I'm actively recruiting. So Happy New Year to you, my friend. If things haven't been going well for you so far this year, there's no need to worry. It's a new year! And if things have been going well, that's great. You can keep up the good work and celebrate the new year by celebrating the successes you've already had. Either way, it's a new beginning - embrace it, create it and believe in it.

Avahontar (Revisited)

To follow up on a previous post, Avahontar, here is a video mash-up that combines the two strikingly similar concepts of Avatar and Pocahontas.

Here's to hoping it does NOT win the Oscar for Best Picture.

CFV 426 - Avatar/Pocahontas Mashup FINAL VERSION from Randy Szuch on Vimeo.

Think Before You Eat

Hungry, but pressed for time? Maybe a pizza pocket is your best solution.

Wait. DROP THE PIZZA POCKET! Here's a poster displaying all of the ingredients that a ham and cheese pizza pocket contains. Gross, but fascinating.

Reminds me of two common food rules:
1) Eat only ingredients you can pronounce
2) Try to eat food that contains five ingredients or less.

America's Awesome Olympic Reputation

Well, it seems that the Americans are really improving their international reputation at the Olympic games in Vancouver (sarcasm).

First, there was this douchebag, US snowboarder Nate Holland, who criticized snowboarders from other countries for wearing pants that were too tight. It's not aligned with snowboarding's anti-establishment roots, he claims. The US snowboarding times is sponsored by Nike, Microsoft and Visa - three HUGE American corporations who, I doubt, have any interest whatsoever in snowboard purism. Besides, that whole flannel/jeans combo has a label, you know. It was made by someone, somewhere to make money for an establishment of sorts. Idiot.

Then, NBC and Shaun White & Co. get busted for cursing on live television after White's historic win. Did anyone see that display of athleticism? I don't even like the halfpipe, but I was shouting a few "holy shits" on my side of the TV. Some are trying to blame Shaun White and his coach for their crude language. He just found out he won a gold medal. Somehow, "Jolly good!" doesn't seem appropriate for the situation. Also, it's NBC's fault for sticking a microphone on just about every square inch of those Canadian mountains. But, in all reality, no one's to blame. Lighten up, America!

Finally, speedskater Sven Kramer of the Netherlands, is getting crap for the rudeness he displayed to an American NBC reporter (see video below). He had just won a gold medal, and minutes after the race, a reporter from NBC asks him to state his name, his country and the medal he just won. Kramer then says, "Are you stupid? Hell no, I'm not going to do that." Good for him, I say. I mean it would be pretty awkward and degrading for a gold medal winner to be seen on American TV saying, "Hi, my name is Sven Kramer. I'm from the Netherlands and I just won a gold medal in speedskating." This is the Olympics, not a 4th grade book report.

On that note, this American is off to Vancouver! (No, seriously, I am.)

Helen on Bipartisanship

Helen never ceases to amaze me:

On the 'modern' Republican party: "And your party decided the tradition of separating church and state had an expiration date. You love the constitution but you seem to pick through that document the same way you pick through the Bible – with all the effectiveness of eating corn on the cob through a picket fence."

Read Helen's new post on Obama's (fruitless?) attempt at bipartisanship. Read all the way through because this time Margaret pipes in.

Song of the Mo: "Pardon Me"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Pardon Me" by Maxine Swaby circa 2001. Sooooo catchy.

Weekly WTF?: "Mr. Fix It"

Is it ironic or do the quotation marks cancel out any irony? Or do they make it even more ironic since they provide a fix for the potential misnomer given the state of the van? Oh lord. Someone make me stop.

Roxxxy

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a sex doll with feelings. Some perv invented this real life sex robot (as in, you can actually have sex with it) that also can spout out some pretty generic love messages. The inventor claims that sex isn't just about pleasure, it's about intimacy and emotion. His solution? Create a robot that you can have your way with and, once you're finished, can tell you how much she enjoys holding your hand. That's what I think about when I'm lonely and missing intimacy in my life: I wish a had a robot to make me feel real human emotions. Makes me long for Teddy Ruxpin.

My favorite part of the article is this direct quote:

"An engineer, Hines said he was inspired to create the robot after a friend died in the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks."

I shit you not.

Game Show Gaffes

Thanks to HuffPost for these pretty funny game show moments. Here are a couple of my faves.

Weekly WTF?: The Unicorn Samurai

This is more than a WTF? This is a strong contender for the 'Weekly WTF? of the Year for 2010' ... and it's only January. While I am puzzled beyond belief about this video, it makes me laugh soooooo hard.

The Unicorn Samurai has only had 17,226 hits on YouTube so far. PLEASE help him go viral. I dare you to find someone/something more deserving.

I Most Certainly Approve: Chair Tracking

Very interesting experiment. Chairs were placed on the streets of NYC and as people showed interest in the chairs, and inevitably took them, a GPS device was enabled that would track the new location of each chair. A video crew documented the actual act of "theft" and later went to the homes of the pilferers to follow up and interview them.

It's essentially a social experiment in modern-day dumpster diving.

Blu Dot Real Good Experiment from Real Good Chair on Vimeo.

Give Soliders the 'Credits' They Deserve

Great article in the New York Times today about the G.I. Bill. I've run into quite a few people in my liberal lifestyle who seem to disagree with the bill that, since 9/11, states that servicemen and women who have served active duty for more than three years, or have been injured, are entitled to free tuition and housing at any public university in the United States. It's unfair, they say. What makes their accomplishments better than those of other applicants? Why do we owe them something so great for upholding a war we don't believe in?

I don't necessarily think it's about "owing" them anything. That's condescending and implies that the only rationale for sending a solider to college is to compensate for the time they spent serving our country. It's more about how they've earned it. In any situation, a person who has experienced extreme challenges in life is going to have a different perspective on how they approach their education - often a much more mature and disciplined point of view. They have persevered in the face of great adversity. How many of you can say that?

Sending soldiers - men and women who are forced to survive, persevere and think on their feet every waking hour in a war zone - to college for free might be one of America's best ideas. Capitalizing on the skills they've already learned in the field and educating and training them as leaders in various fields will only push our society further in terms of progress. Aside from the notion of "owing" them anything, it's also in the best interest of our country.

Listen, I have pretty strong views when it comes to the wars we're engaged in, but I'm not going to blame our soldiers. There are soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan as we speak who disagree with those wars too, but because they have made a promise to protect our country upon enlisting, they go off to battle anyway and make the best of a bad situation. They actually go to war torn countries and form their opinions about war by living and fighting in them. That gives them a lot more credibility than any politician, news correspondent or everyday person.

I say, give them credit - and I mean that literally. 15 credits a semester should work just fine.

Avahontar?

Best Albums of 2009

Ladies and gentlemen, 2 days overdue, I give you my favorite albums of 2009. And instead of descriptions, I give you my favorite songs from each album. Why describe music with words?

And yes, Lady Gaga made the list.

1. The Antlers, "Hospice"


2. Antony and the Johnsons, "The Crying Light"


3. The Swell Season, "Strict Joy"


4. Animal Collective, "Merriweather Post Pavillion"


5. Passion Pit, "Manners"


6. Miike Snow, "Miike Snow"


7. Lady Gaga, "The Fame Monster"


8. Grizzly Bear, "Veckatimest"


9. Phoenix, "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix"


10. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "It's Blitz!"


Honorable Mention: Lily Allen, "It's Not Me, It's You"

Happy New Year!

Thanks to everyone who has read my blog for the past year. 2009 was certainly a pretty interesting year. I started the year as a Peace Corps volunteer in Moldova, only to find myself burying my father three months later. I moved to Seattle, celebrated in friendships new and old, spent two weeks in Scandinavia and got a pretty cool job. A lot happened in 2009. A lot of emotions, a lot of growth, and - of course - a lot of absurdity.

I hope everyone had a wonderful time ringing in the new year. May 2010 bring you happiness and health - nothing else really matters.